Colonel Irrelevant

Rob Earnshaw, £3.5million.
Hope he’s the first of a few quality signings.
We all know that the squad needs strengthening in a few areas before the start of the Prem season.
But news of a new signing wasn’t as sweet as a Red Dog offering me congratulations on our promotion this year.

that requires people who dress in the style of vampires to laugh like vampires?

Karaoke is one of the worst forms of entertainment available.
Loved by Koreans, hated by me.
But then I was in an Irish bar last night and pre-Karaoke they had The Dubliners on the sound system.
They sounded like a somewhat ernest version of The Pogues with somewhat less singing ability.

I mean, honestly, sheep look stupid; goats are sinister; dogs are loyal; cats aloof; pigs are belligerant but cows are just funny. Faintly ridiculous even.
And then artists go and paint them (models, that is) in different colours and patterns.
And they sometimes add clothing and colour and they always look really funny.
Then, when you think [...]

I was having lunch yesterday in a delightful garden in Munich.
Assorted pig cuts served with sauerkraut, mashed spud and gravy.
And what looked to me like cheese.
I like cheese. I like cheese a lot. So I had some mash, then tried a handy fork full of cheese. Not a full fork [...]

I saw a statue of him today.
Looks a right stroppy so and so.
I bet he got as big a shoeing as Blair did this week.

Isn’t it strange how junkies in need of a fix always sound the same regardless of nationality or language they are speaking?

Tinned fruit salad, complete with small chunks and pink cherry halves.
It doesn’t make an appropriate breakfast no matter how it’s dressed up, but it does transport you back to the mid-70’s in an instant.
A bit like a canned time machine.

In the interest of researching Pork Bits To Eat, I went to the pub on Friday.
No one in the Lounge was smoking but some old codger was chuffing on a pipe and someone else had cigars going in the bar.
Got home in a suitably relaxed state (thanks to Messers Greene King and their IPA) to [...]

Oh how impressed I was watching Arctic Monkeys set from Glastonbury.
I was slightly bemused by the cover of ‘Diamonds are Forever’ but it was pretty good.
Overall I really enjoyed the set, and they seemed to enjoy themselves.
Fortunately we have tickets for the gig at Lancs CCC so here’s hoping they keep up their fun and [...]