An award, consisting of a round ball connected to a solid metal block by a threaded bolt in a bag containing cables and stuff is likely to lead to the following:

Bemused looks
Several passes of the bag through the x-ray machine
More confusion
A call for the security supervisor
More bemusement
A call for a Police man
A call for a second and third policeman
Inspection of passport and boarding pass
Closure of the security channel
More confusion accompanied by waiting
Further x-rays
A fully whiskered Policeman with white pips
A test for explosives
An inspection of the bag and contents
An explanation by Whiskers to Security Blokes about his findings
A clearance to proceed and a wish for a safe journey

Very thorough, very professional but embarassing for the traveller involved.

I’m blushing as I type this …

So, we smile and take the wrong turn at Spandau and approach the Olympic Stadium. Park in a street, get out, stretch and wander to the food place. One Doner Durum later and I’m set. We wander off to the stadium, joking about how David doesn’t have a ticket. It’s a bit strange, a major stadium sat at the end of a residential street. Wembley Way is far better!

The Stadium is impressive in a 1930′s style. The running track indicates a prior purpose and it is impresive inside. No alcohol but free programmes is a nice touch. We find our seats and settle down. A pair of Brits sit in front but we are at the opposite end of the ground to the England fans.

The German fans seem irate before the game. They are moaning and drunk. As soon as the game starts one bloke wants to fight someone because they can’t see past his head! They jeer the England team and boo through the anthem. They seem to think that insulting the Queen will upset people. They are probably wrong.

One bloke went to the shop to buy a love doll, with holes. He brought ‘her’ to the ground, wearing a crown and sat with her through the game. He looked sad at the start, worse during the game and terrible at the end. I wonder if his Mum is proud of him?

England played very well and deserved the win. It could have been 5 or more. But we won and that is good. The journey back was quieter but fun for the Brits!

But Thursday was better. I’ve not stopped smiling yet!

Anyway, Wednesday (Mittwoch) saw England playing football in Germany, Berlin to be precise, in a friendly game. David decides it would be a good idea to attend, and I agree, so off we go and arrange the trip.

Tickets are 35 euro, which is pretty cheap, so the trip is on. The only snag is that we are in Hannover (work) and the game is in Berlin. Olaf knows a man, so the tickets are arranged and transport organised. Early to work, early to leave and off we wander to the Market Hall. Along the way we pass a pair of high ranking police officers. Dressed like pantomime versions of South American Generals they draw a smile. Stripes down the trousers, small 1930′s mustaches and braid on hats adds to the picture. So we laugh and arrive at the Market Hall. Lots of food on offer, so spoilt for choice we wander about. French, Italian, Chinese or Bavarian all offer something interesting but eventually we settle for a stall selling pre-post-Christmas Turkey Curry. Not bad at 4.50 euros including rice and a drink!

While eating, another braided jacket worn with jeans wanders past. So maybe South American Junta Chic is all the rage? And then we se a man with more white hair than a polar bear wanders past and the smiles are set! A small French cake finishes the meal and we are off outside to meet Oli and his transport!

What more could you ask for? 3 Germans, 2 Brits and an Audi. Maybe a bigger Audi would have been good? David thought so … Middle seat for most of the way there and back drew major complaints but at least he wasn’t travel sick!

So, having taken Hannover, it’s on the road to Berlin …

Except for a couple of things.

One, the absence of a single currency. I have no idea how much anything is in any country up here and it gets worse as you head to another country because it all changes again. A euro-septic with a shovel purse would enjoy it. I don’t.

The other is also, mostly, one of the best things: the Oresund crossing from Copenhagen to Malmo. Great. Unless the signals for the train break, then you stand around waiting for a bus that will fill in 30 seconds flat, in the frezing wind before packing in and getting a cab to get your plane and having no idea how much you’ve paid except it is almost invariably too much.

But such is life.

Now for passport control …

There will be more …

55 Euros!!!!

In the end, the white taxi turned in a metered fare of 17 Euro including tax.

So, when in Meeelan, avoid the un-metered cabs.

It’s off the beaten track but still well worth a trip if you can.

It’s 8am, please shut up.

And now the Police have made things better with their ‘Police’s Tourist Guide’. I especially like the article on getting fleeced in bars.

‘Walking in the city centre or especially in Vaci Street may happen that young decorative women accost you quoting on different purposes (saying they are students or tourists as well) and after a short time they recommend to continue the conversation with a drink in a restaurant or bar nearby. In this case always check prices on the wine list first, otherwise you may have to pay extremely high price for your drink. To avoid this situation, please be suspicious about young pretty ladies accost you on the streets. …’

Also, avoid wearing a watch when going through security and wear trousers without metal. That way you look less of a tit.

And if you are the subject of this post, please stand aside when people with more than one brain cell are trying to clear security.